Google Has Spoken.

It seems that Google is actually telling us stuff that we need to know.

Yes, they have just ACTUALLY published a rather long and exacting 160 page document on their new quality guidelines. This gets us SEO people all excited. Yes, I know it’s tragic. If you so desire you can read it here

Google never actually tells us how they rank websites. Not really. We just know that if we do certain things within a website (quite a lot of things, actually) the search engine crawlers take notice and start ranking it higher than the crappy websites with no SEO on them – or worse, dodgy SEO.

Having read the document and not actually died, I thought that you may like to read my take on what it’s all about.

Firstly, though, there’s a chap called Brian Dean that I’d like to credit. Although his writing style is a little too in-your-face for my liking, his posts educate, inform and are easy to read. And, they get shared a lot, which is the whole point of it. And I’ve learned a lot from him. Hmmmm…maybe not so bad after all. Anyway, my old mucka Brian is the inspiration for this post, so thank you very much, Mr Dean.

So, what’s all this about?

Google, that MASSIVE search engine that decides where to place your website in the rankings on search engine results pages has for the first time published a list of its Search Quality Rating Guidelines. Why am I pleased? Because, as a copywriter, it’s all about the CONTENT and for YOU this means that good quality content writing is once again at the top of the tree when it comes to website rankings.

Here are the top three points:

1. Highly meets, vs. Fails to Meet.
In a nutshell, and I’m actually quoting Google here, “The guidelines reflect what Google thinks search users want”. So, they like ranking pages that satisfy a search term, in effect a question. If someone was searching for, oooh I don’t know, “Copywriter/Sussex” they’d find me, what I do, how I do it and how I’m different from most copywriters.

Tick. Highly meets (although I do say it myself)

2. Front and Centre
Your content should be the FIRST thing that website visitors see. Any scrolling down the page to find out about your services and Google does the upside down opposite of smiley thing, thus :-(

Is your content at the TOP and in the CENTRE of your page?

3. Expertise – Authoritativeness – Trustworthiness

If you know your stuff, Google likes you. If you make it VERY clear that you really know your stuff, the king or queen of the search engines approves and will rank your website accordingly.

Don’t know your stuff, or you’re not sure? Borrow it, quoting other experts or sources and link back to them.

Reputation is important, too. Awards or recommendations from trusted experts in your field (the topic must be related) is vital. If you’ve won a Best in Show award and you breed dogs, mention it on your website (again, with a link). If you’re part of the Leathersellers Guild and you make handbags – yep, you’ve guessed it. No idea if such a guild exists, I just hope it does.

What else?

Well, they couldn’t really make it any clearer: you need a “comprehensive amount” of main content and the “main content should be the reason that the web page exists”.

Of course, the opposite applies, so if your website is deemed to be of low quality (mainly down to its content), it may well sink like a stone. Bad news. To finish, and yet again, I quote from the Google article: “ We will consider content to be low quality if it is created without adequate time, effort, expertise, or talent/skill.”

So, before I keep repeating the word “content”, I’ll stop. Know any good copywriters? Hmmm?

Susan Beckingham

December 2015


How to be Perfect (at SEO. Hint: It involves Content)

Greetings, everyone out there in online content world.

OK. I promise to use the expression “Content is King” only once throughout this entire article. It’s an increasingly clichéd term that’s even driving content writers a bit potty, although they make their living this way and perk up no end whenever anyone mentions it.

However, you’ve got to get with the programme if you want to have a website that works for you. What I mean by “works”? Well, a website generating good quality enquiries that you convert into customers is a thing of beauty and I think that it takes a degree of knowledge, some money (maybe, OK probably, OK yes definitely) and lots of regular input and upkeep.

Being found and indexed on the internet used to be easy. You could stuff your site with keywords, buy create lots of cheap and nasty links to other sites and generally get up to all sorts of webby-style shenanigans that got you higher up the rankings than your competition.

No longer. Google now uses over 200 different algorithms to rank websites. Nobody knows exactly what they are because they don’t tell us – OK, they tell us some of them but not all, as they like to divide and conquer a bit, but here’s the current low-down on how to do it right:

Get your site developed by a professional if you can. You may want to speak to Richard Russell on 07403 202 601, he really knows his stuff. Just as natural language follows certain grammatical rules, websites are also built using certain languages which need to follow similar legitimate structures. Try putting it through (an independent assessor of websites) to check for “good semantic mark up”. The fewer errors, the more Google approves. Fact.

Make sure that your images have your keywords on them (alt text).

Then (and this is where Content starts to become important)…

Make sure that you’ve done your research on the words people use to find your services.

Try to include your keywords and your location into your URL. Trust me on this one.

Use good header text (usually the title of an article at the top of your page); this so-called H1 text is seized on by Google who use it to determine what your page is all about and they’ll index the page accordingly.

Put your target keywords for each page into your page title and remember to keep it short. Each title needs to be relevant to its subject with no more than 70 characters. With me so far?

Write your content. Each page needs to contain between 300-500 words and must be:

Relevant to its subject.
Well written, with excellent grammar, correct word order and no spelling errors
Regularly updated
Created in such a way to speak to your target audience
Leading the user to contact you through subtle Calls to Action

Make sure that publish articles on a blog ideally every two weeks. A well written blog should be part of your SEO strategy it’s new, original content and yes, you’ve guessed it, Google really likes it!

Search engines send out spidery crawly things on reconnaissance missions every few weeks to find legitimate websites, ie those which support good quality businesses and yes, great NEW content means more or less everything.

Copy content from another site or write it badly and like a plane passing over your frantically waved flag on a desert island, search engines won’t see you.

All a bit too much? You could ask a professional team of people to do all this for you. Give me a call to find out more. I’m not perfect, but I sure am a perfectionist.

Susan Beckingham
Sussex Copywriting Services
m: 07816 684 756


It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like…


So how did that happen?  Last week it was the middle of April and yesterday was late October, so now I find myself with literally days to go before Christmas, working to tight deadlines and wondering if I’m going to get everything done.  This year I have been…lax.  I normally do all my Crimbo shopping well in advance but lordy lordy how useless am I this year?  You don’t have to answer that but believe me there is uselessness aplenty this year.

Anyway, another blog not related to content writing at all.  Hurrah I hear you say.  This one’s about Christmas.

My goodness me how I love the festive season.  I guess it goes back to being a child and having parents who loved Christmas, too.  So, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways:

Christmas trees.  Honestly, what’s not to love.  A real tree, with pure white fairy lights which makes the room all lovely and festive. It smells gorgeous and has presents underneath it.  Gives a warm glow, or is that the sherry I only drink once a year?

Sausage rolls.  God, I love these.  Warmed up in the oven, they taste of Christmas.  Similarly, satsumas, brazil nuts in their shells and chocolate coins.

Christmas telly.  BBC, take a bow.  ITV, really don’t bother (well, please bother with Downton Abbey, I love that)

Carols from Kings.  A pure unalloyed joy and it makes me cry – in a good way.

The Christmas Eve Tom and Jerry.  What do you mean you’ve not seen it?  Go and buy it AT ONCE.

Christmas Eve in general.  Somehow it’s a magical sparkly day and needs to involve candles, a glass of wine, a prayer for those we have loved and lost (my Dad) and fish pie for some reason.

Presents.  Of course.  Getting great presents is a joy – I got a television once – but giving them and then seeing the person in question using it and enjoying what you bought them is just great.

Board games.  Our family has a no telly rule on Christmas Day (yes, I know I’m contradicting myself) and we like to play silly games.  I even like Scrabble.

The food.  My sister makes delicious canapes that we eat before our big meal. Yum.  Also, those sausages wrapped in bacon are pretty sensational, aren’t they?

Christmas music.  OK, not if you work in a shop.

I love it when it gets dark early.

I love the routine.

I love it all.

Merry Christmas to one and all.





Failing to Plan, Planning to Fail?

I love a good networking do.  Once I was afraid I was petrified, kept thinking I could never actually go to one as it meant walking up to people, flashing my winning smile and engaging them in witty banter.  People I’d never met before! This was never going to be that easy because I’m a) British, b) a bit posh and c) rather shy, underneath the confident way I hope I come across.  I keep thinking that someone will actually expose the real me one day but so far I think I’ve got away with it.

Gratuitous picture to illustrate SHYNESS

Anyhoo, this blog isn’t necessarily about networking, although it’s been on my mind in the last couple of days and I’m somewhat distracted. No names no pack drill.

I often ask fellow business owner networkers who they sell to (and yes, I know it’s “to whom they sell”. Shut up, already) but this often leads to discombobulation.  Why wouldn’t you promote your services to anyone who’ll have them? After all, it’s income, whichever way.

Except it’s not.  Why sell lots of small pieces of business when one big chunky one represents the same amount of income with massively less effort?  And what sort of company or individual is most likely to write large cheques?  Which sector tends to be the most responsive?  And why?  You know that you need to know this.

So OK.  Have you done a Business Plan? Hmmmm?

I meet lots of people at networking dos who haven’t and sometimes (not you, of course) you can tell.  A business plan is an essential tool because:

  • It will enable you to describe accurately your business to customers, backers, suppliers and competitors.
  • It helps you focus on what you’re doing and how you’re planning to do it
  • It will help you identify: your skills, your service offering, your market, your segmented market (which bits of your service you want to sell to which sectors), your USPs
  • you can establish the appropriate ways to promote your business, broken down into stages with time frames attached.
  • It will get you funding, if you need it. And yes, the banks are still lending.  They lent money to me because they really liked my plan.

A good business plan is a living document. You’ll be able to compare where you are now with a) where you thought you would be and b) where you want to be.

Oh Dear Now I Feel Baaaaad (This is me being you.  It’s called role play)


Solution Ahoy

OK.  I will. I write business plans for people.  I’ve written three of my own and several for my clients.  I’ve got 25 years oh God I’m so old 20 years’ experience in sales and marketing and I’m very good at not only turning your ideas into well written, documented, tangible stuff, I can help you uncover aspects of your business you never knew existed, new people to sell to and most importantly…ways in which you can reach and sell to them.

I offer a series of intensive one-to-one sessions at which I ask you lots of penetrating questions, whilst looking at you over the top of my blingy reading glasses.  Worth the price of admission alone, I think.


I’ve got documents to email you in advance of each of our meetings with tips on how to research your market, how to work out your profit margins, break-even levels, everything everything everything.  I can’t be your financial-guru-soothsayer – you’ll have to do your own projections –  but everything else…sorted.

There’s a certain way to lay out business plans; ignore the templates on the internet, they’re just annoying. I, Susan Beckingham, hand-holder extraordinaire have the fluffy-cloud, 24-carat template that even God complimented me on the other day.  I made up that last bit.

The finished result will be astonishingly useful. You can show it to your bank manager, potential business partners, affiliates and associates, your Mum but chiefly it’ll be the best way to tell the story of how you intend to run your business and ultimately, to earn more money.

Anyone fancy earning more money?

By the way, I can’t publish this blog without acknowledging the lovely Su Shanson in all of this, who is now a good friend.  Thank you, Su.  Thank you so much.

Susan Beckingham is a copywriter who knows about business.  She writes business and marketing plans for people.  Give her a call on on 01273 721 306.







A Fan Letter From Brighton.

Dear Mr Fellowes

Re: Downton Abbey

I’m just writing to let you know just how much I love you.  Indeed, such is my adoration I’m coming round to your house to lick your face.

The early part of the 20th Century was surely a period of astonishing social change, a bridge between the old world and the new.   When we first met Robert Grantham et al, life seemed to run along the same lines as it had for centuries; roles and places in society were unchanged, but by 1920 hardly a single aspect of life had gone unchallenged, I guess due in no small part to a devastating war.  Ah, how I love thee – let me count the ways:

I love that the folks above and below stairs are so totally intertwined in each other’s lives and that although there are strict hierarchical rules, even in how they address each other, there is mutual respect and kindness.

I love the fact that you’ve modelled the Earl of Grantham on your father and that he’s such a fine chap, kind to his servants and slow to condemn.

I want Matthew and Mary to be totally loved up forever and to have lots of  babies.  Please make this so.  Their scenes together make me go all misty eyed.

Similarly, Anna and John Bates.  I want to be like Anna, she’s such a good person.

I love Thomas.  And O‘Brien.  The actors who play them inject menace and resentment into their portrayals in equal measure and they are delicious.

I’m rather keen on social history so your astonishing attention to detail makes me very happy indeed. I love that certain characters embrace change, while others keep it at arm’s length for as long as they can.

I love Lady Edith and how life never quite deals her a full hand. She’s certainly the unluckiest of the Crawley sisters and one of the others has died.

I’m slightly in love with Matthew Crawley.  I may write to him, too, in a non-stalkerish way.








Please say “thank you” on behalf of the women in Britain for the gorgeous clothes and jewellery.  Although it pains me to say it, I just need to hear the first bar of the signature tune for my inner girlie to be released and run around unchecked for an hour or so.

I love the fact that Branson Tom Branson has at last embraced the family he has married into and that they’ve accepted him, too – well, nearly.

The music.  Lots of strings. Lush. Take a bow, John Lunn.

I also love the script, it’s so utterly engaging and precise.  You’ve given Maggie Smith all the best lines but her acting without words underlines her brilliance. I recall her slight stumble whilst crossing the hall after Sybil’s death, which spoke a great deal of her grief for a lost granddaughter. Do not let her leave the series. Ever.

I want to live at Highclere Castle.  Noone will notice if I sneak in, will they?

Oh, and there’s a Christmas Day episode, you say? Joy unbounded.

Lots of love,

Susan xxx

PS: I forgive you for “Titanic”.

PPS: Next week I won’t be writing to you as I need to blog about copy and content writing again.  Sorry about that.


A Few More Favourite Words of Marvellousness

A recent missive on my top 10 favourite words prompted three nice hundreds of compliments to come flooding in and as I’m inclined to please, I thought you’d like some more. English is a moveable feast, full of words from other cultures and periods in history; new words appear in the OED every year, some of which outrage me but that’s a blog for another time.

Tiny History Stuff

Until about the 12th  Century, we spoke and wrote ye olde Englishe; it looks and sounds like nothing  we could remotely understand today.  It’s lovely to listen to, though.  Very mellifluous.

Middle English spanned 1100 to 1500.  Part vernacular and Norman French (thanks, Mr William the Conk), if you ever got to grips with The Canterbury Tales (good) or any Medieval tales of derring-do (ghastly), that’s ye lingo in whiche it were writte.

Shakespeare’s plays are written in Modern English.  Oh yes they are.  From the 16th Century onwards the Great Vowel Shift and the Renaissance chucked new pronunciation and lots of new words into our language. We even had our first dictionary published, surely a fairly slim volume and probably without floccinaucinihilipilification. You’re still getting over Shakespeare’s plays being modern English, aren’t you?

The lovely melting pot that is our English language explains why I like…

Quidnunc. How blimmin’ marvellous is this word?  It means one who gossips.

Meander. Pretty.

Frippet – a flighty young woman prone to showing off, similar to flibbertigibbet, I guess. Frippet is probably where frippery comes from.

Note: if you’ve ever asked yourself what the word is for a parchment on which the original text has been wholly or partially erased, then overwritten by another, wonder no more – it’s palimpsest, but you must use it in no other context.  I am beside myself with joy at this unbelievably specific definition.

Ripple.  A very small wave.  And a chocolate bar.

We’ve got some jolly odd words, too.  Take oxter, for example: not the armpit but the space under the arm.  Weird, but good.

Here’s the thing: most Sunday mornings I am a Tatterdemalion: a person with tattered clothing or of unkempt appearance. Nice.

Comely. This slightly sleazy word  rolls around the tongue, putting me in mind of a buxom young woman with a piece of straw hanging out of the side of her mouth, tempting young farmers into the way of the flesh. On hay bales.

Lissom and lithe are also somewhat post-watershed.

I love sepulchral, or pertaining to the tomb, as I think this wonderful word reflects our erstwhile (another good word) obsession with death and dying. I don’t see an immediate future use for it, though.

You could call my career serendipitous, finding something nice while looking for something else; similarly the noun serendipity.  It’s happy word, it  evokes smiling angels and rosy-cheeked cherubs.

And, who doesn’t love the word imbroglio, meaning an altercation or complicated situation? Please may we bring it back into everyday use?

Oh, I could do this all day.  There are loads more but you’ve probably got things to do.  I’ve got crisp, velvety, euphonious purple prose to write for websites so I’d better get on.  


Are you Content with your Content?

Or…why you need a web content writer.

There are some stonkingly bad websites out there.  Fear of being sued offending people prevents me from showing you examples but I’m sure you’ve seen a few.  Why are they bad, though? What provokes an almost immediate Back-To-the-List-of- Dreams reaction?

I’ve done a bit of research on web browsing behaviour: people spend a matter of seconds scanning a home page and if it’s sloppy or not laid out clearly, they’re orf.  I have issues with the colour pink as well, but that’s just me.  I also have ishooos with Trick or Treat and the X Factor.

Anyhoo, what else is a turn-off? You’ve guessed it – take the rest of the day off – it’s the way the content has been put together.

Writing for the web is quite unlike any other medium.  Websites need relatively short, punchy sentences; paragraphs mustn’t be too long; you need text that’s relevant, appropriate and clear; each page should focus entirely on a defined subject and not ramble on.  In short, we require clarity and precision. And…unless you’re a web content writer, you may struggle.

Question: If you’ve ever received promotional material with mistakes therein, what did you do with it? It’s the same with a badly written website,  instead of the round circular thing under your desk, visitors “bounce” back to search engine listings.

You’re a professional so I’m assuming that you’d like your website a) to reflect your company’s high standards and b) to be written in a style to appeal to your customers.

Don’t worry, be happy.  Help is at hand and here’s why (shameless promotion approaching) Sussex Copywriting Services is the company for you.  So, what’s my USP, then?

My background.  I’ve spent over 20 years (OK, nearly 25) in b2b sales.  I’ve sat with MDs, CEOs and senior partners and asked them questions:

What are your objectives? Why?

What’s your best selling service? Why?

What’s your target market? What are your USPs?

(Have you got any Viscount biscuits?)

I had about an hour each time to get the right information out of people and to demonstrate that I’d listened properly.  Then I had to create persuasive written proposals with the “problem” solved by a “solution”.  Oh, and they had to be precise, easy to read and jargon-free.  As you can imagine, I got rather good at doing this.  I’m still good.


Search engine optimisation.  Being found on the internet. The Dark Art.  Except that it isn’t, really.

Google and Bing have gone all posh.  If you stuff your text with keywords, their super spidey senses will ignore you or consider your site as SPAM.  In brief , SEO is about:

A well laid out site (try looking up “good semantic markup”)

Good quality links back to your website

Internal links

Appropriate keywords

A presence on Twitter and Facebook (Google + and Google maps don’t do any harm, either.  LinkedIn, too)

Appropriate page and header descriptions – no more than about 70 characters and each one different.  And, most of all…

Well written, accurate and relevant content.  Your site needs engaging text and you need to update it regularly with refreshed content, articles, newsletters and blogs. I can’t over-emphasise this.  OK, I can.

I know how to write so that search engines will find and index your site; while you’re focusing on growing your business I’ll take care of updating your content. I’ll even research the best keywords for your industry.

And…I’ll write in a style and tone that your target audience will like.

And relax.

Chillax, in fact. Don your Slanket and bed socks, safe in the knowledge that Sussex Copywriting Services is really rather splendid.  A bit like having lots of clean socks in the drawer or clean sheets night.  Give me a call on 01273 721 306, let’s discuss words.





“Heads Up”: Phrases to, like, Avoid?

To quote the great philosopher Len Goodman, when it comes to the English language “I sometimes feel like I’m a cup of tea in a world of lattes” (Strictly Come Dancing, October, 2012).  Being a wordy-type person means that I have to  express concepts clearly and without…fluff.

Here’s a list of phrases which set my teeth on edge. I wonder if you agree?

Business jargon  such as added value, turn-key solution and low-hanging fruit.  If you’ve played b******* bingo – see here for details – you’ll feel my pain here.  Also, where did skills set come from?  Isn’t it just skills?

People who start a sentence by saying  “with respect…” will, more than likely, proceed to insult you but because they’ve given themselves permission to do so that makes it all OK, apparently.

Reach out. It appears that nobody actually calls or emails anyone anymore, especially in the States.  They “reach out” to you.  If anyone tries reaching out to me, I’ll move out of the way.

Similarly, touch base.  P’don?

Om nom nom, used by people to describe good food, mainly on tinterweb forums.  Om nom nom makes me feel slightly ill.

No problemo. Oh dear, I’m afraid I’ve used this one and will take myself off to Siberia at once.

If I hear another person say that a woman looks good for her age I will slap him or her around the face with a wet fish. I’m sure you don’t me to explain why.

Can anyone explain what a price point is?  Also, any ideas about colour way (as opposed to just colour)?

Welcome to my World.  You’ve just shared some bad news with me but I’m not really interested because it’s all about ME.

What’s I could care less about? People of America, desist.  Obviously, you mean “I couldn’t care less” meaning that you don’t care.  Because if you could care less, it means that you do care, at least somewhat.  Otherwise, how could you care less? I need to lie down.

What is it about being on the Jeremy Kyle show that means you have to repeat at the end of the day all the time?  Do you really think it closes down your argument? Perhaps it’s been written into your contract or something.

Obvious one: people – mainly young women, don’t ask me why – who insert like into every sentence.  It’s like Tourettes for tweenies and is often heard with rising intonation at the end of every sentence…like, you’re asking a question?

My bad.  I have literally no idea what this means and can’t be bothered to find out.

So, a bit of a list.  The worst one, though (or is it just me)…

The use of the first person plural regarding pregnancy.  Sorry, but we are pregnant is a medical impossibility and people who say it make me go all Norman Bates with the sheer superior smugness of it all.  It makes me think of huuuuuge pavement-hogging baby buggies and Boden catalogues.

It’s harsh but fair to say that anyone caught using any of these phrases will be made to sit in a room entirely empty apart from a tube of Pringles, surely the salty snack equivalent of heroin.  They will be allowed to eat just one, then forced to sit and contemplate the rest of the contents therein, yea verily until the end of time.

Sussex Copywriting Services, despite a tendency to rant, is a really nice company which writes effective SEO-enabled content for websites and all sorts of other work besides.  Don’t be scared, call 01273 721 306 to find out more.


A New Sales Prevention System

Let’s start with a true story. Back in the day, a colleague of mine (no, not me) decided to send out  speculative letters to a list of about 100 potential customers.  He’d taken the time to sign each individually,  enclose a brochure and address each envelope by hand. What he didn’t do, however was check his spelling and grammar. Imagine, if you will, his embarrassment when one of the chosen 100 actually returned the letter with the grammar and spelling mistakes highlighted in red.  (Oh, how I laughed. Quietly.)

Us copywriters get a bit paranoid when it comes to the final submission of a piece of work.  The temptation is to check, check, sleep on it, check it again, tinker with it, go to the loo, worry, watch Loose Women and then just…re-write it and have a little re-read or two before sending it.

I guess our words are our bonds.

Everyone makes mistakes, even me and I’m perfect (ha ha ha ha ha hahahahaaa). What matters is being able to review what you’ve created with a critical eye and then make sure it’s in a tone or style that your audience will like. Don’t just bash out something and send it off as there will be mistakes therein, oh yes there will.  Edit. Re-word, eliminate duplications.  Turn it sideways, squint a bit and do that cat’s bum thing with your mouth.  Do this anyway, it makes you look clever.

All of this matters because…

If you want to promote your business on-line, you need to get it right.  Poor grammar and spelling = shoddy; shoddy = don’t care that much really; don’t care that much really = well, you’re getting the picture, I think.

Knowing about how words work helps us get our message across clearly and makes it that much more compelling.

NB: Search engines like clear, crisp spelling and grammar; they like relevant, original regularly updated content.  More on this soon.

Finally, may I draw your attention to this:

The first person to tell me why this is sooooo wrong wins first prize: a date with me;  the runner-up gets two nights out.

Sussex Copywriting Services prizes attention to detail above all else in life.  For more information, call 01273 721 306


My Top 10 Words of Marvellousness

Once, when I was a sharp suited corporate person, I had instructions from the office to drop the word “sausages” into a business related conversation at a client meeting in the City.  Nobody blinked when I compared a certain process to a string of the afore-mentioned meaty treats and another square was completed on the “bull**** bingo” card back at HQ. Fun with words, what larks.

Personally, I find the English language extremely expressive and fluid; words come in and out of use and most of us (OK not you, Stephen Fry) simply don’t use our language as well as we should, in my humble opinion.  Do you have favourite words? I bet you do.  These are mine:

10. Engage, as in taking an interest in and acting upon. A dynamic and somehow reassuring word.

9. Robust.  Love this – it rolls around the top of the mouth like one of those cherry drops from one’s childhood.

8. Tintinnabulation.  Wow, someone actually thought “Ah, the sound of ringing bells, there’s no word for that yet, is there?”

7. Petrichor, the smell of rain on dry earth.  Lovely.

6. Defenestrate, it means “to throw someone or something out of a window”.  Yep, that’s right.

5. Chatoyancy.  Mainly used in gemology, this fabulous word is from the French “chat” (cat) and “oeil” (eye), in other words, cat’s eye.  You’ll see chatoyancy in tiger’s eye when you move the stone backwards and forwards – it sort of shimmers and it’s very pretty indeed.

4. Moral Turpitude, as in the “have you ever been convicted of a crime involving moral turpitude” question, to which you presumably have to answer “no” on your way over to the States on a plane or you get defenestrated.  OK, it’s two words, but they sure sound great together.

3. Onomatopoeia. Wow, what a word – something that suggests the sound of what it describes, for example “oink” or “meow”.  Also, and I bet you didn’t know this, it’s also sung as a refrain by Kid Creole’s backing band, The Coconuts on “Annie, I’m not your Daddy”.  Fact.

2. Mellifluous is probably an onomatopoeia. It means “sweet sounding” and I think I need to use it more often.

And finally, could there be a better word than…

1.Discombobulated, I mean, really – could there?  It took me quite a while to grasp the fact that this is a real word and not some made-up jobby, it means “a state of being confused or shocked”.

So…there you are.  Let me know if you’d like me to sneak any of these words into your web content, although it may create a robust discombobulation.

Susan Beckingham provides copywriting services for websites – engage with her and hear her mellifluous voice on 01273 721 306.